Most of the buzz about not observing any Santa Claus tradition seems to be from conservative Christians who disagree with secular observations of Christmas, but that doesn't factor in for us. I love a lot of secular aspects of Christmas (lights, trees, decorating, gift giving, that it's observed in December...) and have no problem incorporating them into what is still a religious holiday.
I grew up with Santa bringing candy and small gifts to fill my stocking. All the presents under the tree were from their actual giver (usually parents). As a kid I sometimes wondered why Santa brought other kids things like bikes and dolls but they got almost nothing from their parents. I never really wanted Santa to bring that stuff since my parents fulfilled a lot of my wishes (and received the exclamations of thanks on Christmas morning!), and we received a moderate amount of gifts. I realize that it's tradition for some families to give tons of gifts from Santa, but to me it seems really over the top.
I remember the conversation I had with my mom when I realized that Santa (and the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy) was not real. She explained that Santa was not an actual being, but a spirit of anonymous giving and a way to make the world a little more magical. I was initially unsatisfied with that answer, but came to love it pretty quickly. (I also was still perfectly happy to receive a stocking full of candy and little gifts!)
I wonder, though, how to go about not teaching belief in Santa in a culture where small children will certainly see depictions of Santa and be asked about their interactions with Santa. How do you keep a child from feeling disappointed about their parents rather than Santa filling their stocking, or even worse, from developing a belief in Santa anyway and thinking that us rather than Santa filling their stockings is a reflection of their inherent badness (since Santa allegedly doesn't visit bad children)? I'm glad I won't have to figure out how to negotiate this for a while.
Readers, what do you think? Did anyone grow up never believing in Santa? What did your parents teach you, and did you still do stockings from parents? How did you feel about it? Parents, if you aren't doing Santa for your kids, how do you address the cultural pervasiveness of Santa? What do you teach your kids?
3 comments:
My parents always told me that Santa was just a fun winter story. We had books about him around the house, and sometimes my mom would even label gifts as being from Santa, but I was taught that the his presence was purely just for fun, not that he was a real person. I don't remember ever being disappointed by that explanation, and it really doesn't seem like much like a stretch, considering other make-believe characters that kids learn about all of the time like Frosty the Snowman. My mom did emphasize that I shouldn't try to evangelize my non-belief in Santa to neighbor kids and classmates, though. Parents are sensitive about their kids' belief in Santa being stripped away too early in life.
My parents did Santa and I never thought, "I can't believe they LIED to me!" Also, St. Nick was a real person who gave away his inheritance to the poor. He loved Jesus and did wonderful things in his name.
I'm not sure if we're going to "do" Santa, but I'm certainly not anti-Santa. We're absolutely raising our daughter to know that Christmas is the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus. But, I'm cool with explaining that Santa gave gifts and that reminds us of the most important gift...God's son.
I totally agree with the Elf on the Shelf stuff. Creepy. And I don't understand why the elf gets to be naughty, but then he tattles on the children to Santa. Weird.
I'm curious to see how other people chime in!
Interesting discussion... I never remember believing in Santa. For as long as I can remember, I knew it was my mom. Maybe because we usually got gifts like flannel pj's from "Mrs. Claus" and my mom has really distinctive handwriting. I wish I remembered if/what my parents said about others believing, but I don't. I never felt left out because, like you, I received most of my major wishes from my parents (and was well taught the difference between a want and a need, which is definitely something overlooked in this season).
Brad did grow up with Santa. We were just talking the other day about how we want our kids to be excited about the gifts we choose to buy them, more so than the gifts that "Santa" brings. So maybe Santa will just do stockings at our house? No definite answer yet, but we're also thinking about it.
I do like your point about not having Santa be a judge. I hadn't thought of that before.
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